While engaged in weighty discourse about the general state of the world with other members of the Empire last night, LC Darth Vader suddenly had one of his psychotic breaks and started wondering just how the members of the Psychiactric profession might be celebrating this festive season with their own versions of the old standard carols....

PSYCHIATRISTS' CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR EVERY DIAGNOSIS:

Schizophrenia ~~ Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder ~~ We Three Queens disoriented are

Dementia ~~ I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic ~~ Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic ~~ Deck The Hall and Walls and House and Lawn
and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.....

Paranoid ~~ Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder ~~ Thoughts Of
Roasting On An Open Fire

Bi-polar Personality Disorder ~~ You Better Watch Out, I'm
Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna
Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why; Joy to the World, the Doc has come,

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ~~ Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

ADHD ~~ Hark the herald angels sing
ba-rum-pa-pum-pum in the little town
of Bethlehem up on the housetop in a winter
wonderland one foggy
Christmas Eve hey how bout them Bears no I don't
want to switch to Sprint but thank you for shopping at K-Mart.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 265 words, total size 2 kb.

Wild Thing has a treat for anyone that loves the Christmas spirit. She may be WILD, but can that lady PLAY!! Just click on the holly and be regaled by a true artiste.

And when you're done being beguiled by the sweet tones of her piano, carry that spirit on to THIS POST, and do YOUR bit for Jack and kis fellow patriots.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 75 words, total size 1 kb.

Catfish, being the great friend he is, sent me a reading list for the New Year.

Now, Catfish isn't that much on reading,(he can, despite nasty gossip) so he naturally chose the THINNEST books he could find:

World's Thinnest Books . .

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Janet Reno & Whoopi Goldberg

ALL THE WOMEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Barney Frank (D-Mass) & Boy George

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY

By Bill CLinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden & Willie Nelson

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates & The 'Donald '

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE

by Al Gore & John Kerry

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

Partial publication

AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

anonymous for sure

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel

THE GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

DELICIOUS SPOTTED OWL RECIPES
by PETA

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O.J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES

by Ted Kennedy

~###################################~

And the world's Number One Thinnest Book

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 276 words, total size 2 kb.

I got a christmas present today. It was unexpected, even though the sender had mentioned it in passing in an IM conversation.

All I can say is THANK YOU, DK. You made excellant choices.

Now where is that pancake mix....

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:20 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

Although, I have to say that I like it even better when I use my full name:

"Luscious Adonis" Yeah....Thats me allright....well, a guy CAN dream, can't he?

H/T to Rachel for the link

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 10 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm a sucker for all the sappy Christmas "miracle" stories. I just wish we could all keep that spirit all through the year. I don't think Liz will mind that I reposted this one here.

Remember that He is always watching, and everything you do for good or ill is noted. Even if your not a person of faith, I think thats a good credo to live by.

Let "Him" be your conscience, even if He's only a constuct in your own mind; He will never steer you wrong.

Now go below the fold, and have a good cry from observing true faith in action.
I know I did, and I thank you for that Liz. It was a wonderful Christmas gift. more...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 2050 words, total size 12 kb.

Blatently ripped off from GuyK's site...(HOW does he find them?)

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

Theodore's World has the scoop, with appropiate visuals, on how to tell a Democrat from a Terrorist in a side by side comparison.

Seems I have a new site to add as a "daily read"...

Just to remind all of you what is at stake here, I think the following quote covers it quite nicely:

"We stand here on the only island of
freedom that is left in the whole world.
There is no place left to flee to ...
no place to escape to. We defend
freedom here or it is gone. There is no
place for us to run, only to make a stand.
And if we fail, I think we face telling our
children, and our children's children, what
it was we found more precious than freedom.
Because I am sure someday --
if we fail in this --
there will be a generation that will ask."
~Ronald Reagan

Just how LONG will we continue to allow partisian political manuevering to overshadow our national security?

WAKE UP AMERICA!

H/T to Jack for the link

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 193 words, total size 1 kb.

You can't make up humor like this!:

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana actually aired an interview with a woman of color from New Orleans. The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate.

"So Miss "she asked the interviewee "How has such total and complete devastation of the CHURCHES in the area affected your lives? "

The woman replied," I don't know about all those other peoples but we gets our chicken from Popeye's".

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.

H/T to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:58 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

THIS IS A MUST READ.

Connie du Toit, in her own incomperable manner, weaves together the themes of how the actions we take have a ripple effect on the greater world around us; and how, if we have an adult form of self respect, we will take actions to protect ourselves, and the weaker around us. This is a post about courage, and compassion; of going that extra mile; of doing something NOT for recompense, but because it is the right thing to do, and of improving a life that was on a downward path.

If you you don't have at least a tear in your eye by the end of the post, I don't think you are someone I want to know

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 135 words, total size 1 kb.

Eino, a Finlander from Cook County in northern Minnesota- was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Lutheran.

Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Eino's neighbors were Catholic.....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Eino, and suggested that Eino convert to
Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Eino attended Mass..... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over Eino, he said, "You were born a
Lutheran and raised a Lutheran, but now you are Catholic."

Eino's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Eino's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold Eino, he stopped in amazement and watched......

There stood Eino, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully
sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You were born a deer, and raised a deer, but now you are a walleye. "

H/t to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:59 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 220 words, total size 1 kb.

Odysseus once again weilds the Cluebat of Logic and Rightous Anger™; this time the subject of his rant is the outrageous lack of substantive actions against Iran in the face of the public statements of it's elected President concerning Israel and the Holocaust, and it's open race to become a nuclear power.

As I've said before, NOBODY weilds the Cluebat™ more effectively than Odysseus does.

He should be considered a national asset.

Update: On the post above, I left a comment responding to another commenter that had asked, in essence, why we blame the democrats for the administrations seeming lack of a responce to events in Iran, when Republicans hold both chambers and the White House. I put forth the idea that the CONSTANT partisan screeds/memes aimed at every action President Bush has taken in the last 5 years may be one (large) part of the reason why the response has been lackluster. I furthur contended that the Democrats still hold the power with the MSM, and that the media is the single greatest influance on public opinion. I contend that, taking Iraq as an example, the media has either chosen not to report any story favorable to the administration, or has spun an adimitedly bad event in such a way as to make it even worse, with the blame being placed at President Bush's feet. Here is an example of non-reporting...ever hear of Paul Ray Smith?

He is the first, and so far ONLY winner of the CMH in the occupation of Iraq. The ONLY news entity to report on the presentation of the award ceremony was CBS, and even with them, it was only deemed worthy as a one time sound bite, and was only shown because the viewers chose it from among three options. (guess CBS miscalculated the public's interest when they provided the option..)

Every war needs it's heroes. War is a desperate, dirty business that requires the full support of the public at home, if it has a chance of being successful, and honoring heroes is a part of maintaining that public support at the levels needed, like it or not, thats a fact of life. By not allowing any heroes to be widely acknowledged, the MSM is helping to choke off that support when it is most critcally needed....and I believe that this is being conciously done in furthurance of a partisian (Democratic) agenda.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 416 words, total size 3 kb.

The Lady of the Citidal, Mamamontezz, hasn't been posting too much in the last several months; and thats a real shame, because she has a rare talent for writing and/or finding really great subjects to post about (discounting when she is in her Domme mode).

She had a discussion with the Princess last night about Santa Clause. The Princess is one of those rare 11 year olds that still have a fervent belief in Santa Clause; MamaM tried to tell her how Santa is the ideal in all of us, and that we are each Santa to someone else.

The princess still isn't sure about all of this existential thinking, and still harbors a belief in a jolly old elf with an elven factory and reindeer housing facility in one of the colder regions of the world.

When Mamamontezz got to work, she found an e-mail in her inbox that demonstrates the reality of Santa from one of her friends, and promptly added it as a post on her blog. Please go there now and read it...just be sure to have a hankie ready.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:25 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 188 words, total size 1 kb.

Todays humor courtesy of the one and only Catfish:

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed,
hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave,
presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

<><><><><><><>

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the
doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

<><><><><><><>

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says,

"I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"

"Yep No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

<><><><><><><>

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a
new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly. The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

<><><><><><><>

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 478 words, total size 3 kb.

Seems that Catfish has already decided on his Presidential candidate for 2008:

Here we are already discussing the future President of the United
States in the Year 2008. Well, I have my own candidate and I'm sure
that once you know who I'm for, you will also agree.

For those of you who would like another choice for President, I have the best solution:
It is probably time we have a woman as President. My choice, and I hope
yours as well, is a very special Lady that has all the answers to our problems.
PLEASE give it a thought when you have a moment....

MAXINE FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Very eloquently put............don't you think?

Maxine on "Driver Safety"
"I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.".......

Maxine on "Life"
"Life is like an oven. It burns my ass!"

Maxine on "Housework"
"I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

Maxine on "Lawn Care"
"The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

Maxine on "The Perfect Man"
"All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."

Maxine on "Technology Revolution"
"My idea of rebooting is ickingsomebody in the butt twice."

Maxine on "Aging"
"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita."

"I'm telling you .... she's the perfect candidate."

~~~~~

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency after middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche han a Kia

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere, you may be dead.! (So true!)

~~~~~

If you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes,
your belly button will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?

So don't forget, November 2008: VOTE FOR MAXINE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
There's no one better for the job!!!

Paid for by the Maxine for President Committee

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 12:15 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 479 words, total size 3 kb.

ONLY Catfish could come up with a link that proves that you can be patriotic by playing with your balls!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.

Ny friend Catfish has led a hard life....and interesting life but a hard one nonetheless.

As with many such people, he has a talent to cutting through the BS and cutting to the coe of a problem.

He e-mailed me The Plan to solve a great many of our woes.....could it relly be so simple?

Okay, here's the plan:

"Back off and let men marry men, women marry women, and totally legalize abortion."

""In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!!"

""..... I love it when a plan comes together!"

The only problem I see is the turmoil the rest of us will have to endure for those three generations....could we survive it?

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 117 words, total size 1 kb.

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Odysseus has a great post on the historic election that occurred in Iraq today, from the perspective of one who was there at the first election last year.

He explains just what it means to the Insurgents Islamofacists.

.....Just WHY can't the MSM get it right?

By all account's the turnout in Iraq is nothing short of amazing...apparently, at last count, 11 M out of an electorate of 14 M have voted....if only WE could get such a turnout!

(cartoon stolen borrowed from Lucianne) Drawn by Frank Galasso, one of the best around..(please don't sue me)

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:14 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 116 words, total size 1 kb.

Ever wonder what it would be like to expend 850 rounds of 7.62 Nato with ONE trigger pull? (M60/mark43)

Go here and watch a lucky bastard having the time of his life.....it took 1 min and 45 seconds to go through that many rounds btw...

When I was with the ---FD (unit withheld for protective reasons), USAR, I was a member of the small arms weapons certification team. It was our responsibility to provide a safe environment for every USAR unit in a three state area to have a safe place to go to requalify with their M16 rifles, .45 sidearms (officers) and the good old Ma Deuce M60 .50 MG. We provided the range, range personell, and ammunition.

As anyone familiar with government depts. may be aware, a dept's. budget for the next year is somewhat affected by what they spent in the current year. If you economize, in what would be a responsible manner for a private concern, you are actually penalized by a drop in the next years budget...in other words, what you don't use, you lose.

Well, it seemed that we were close to the end of the fiscal year, and due to a change in scheduling, our unit found itself with 5,000 rounds of .50 and 1,000 rounds of .223 ammunition that WOULD have been expended if this change had not occurred, and we would most likely be shorted by that amount in the next year, when we actually were looking for an increase in the TOE, due to an extra two units being added to our schedule then....The Major told the Capt. to "handle it", the Capt., being intelligent, asked the Top to look into what could be done to solve the problem. The Top asked the Primary range crew for suggestions....We told him we would solve the problem, just as long as he didn't ask any probing questions .

Seems that the very next day, we had an urgent request for a range requal for a unit that nobody had ever heard of...considered to be "hush-hush"; the unit was to be deployed and their Top wanted to make sure his people had the requisite range time to be "legal" on paper.

Upshot of it is, the the primary range crew expended all 6,000 rounds in what was the most enjoyable range experience I have ever had, before they deployed to their favorite adult beverage disbursement establishment.

The unit received a 10% increase in their next fiscal budget.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 12:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 424 words, total size 2 kb.

I would ask all those advocating National health care to read this and get a glimpse of the inevitable future of such a program.

There are only a finite resources availible from the public purse, and in the end, as we've seen in every place it's practiced, that financial fact leads to a rationing of services. It begins with long waits for what are now common procedures, and ends with refusal of treatment for those that the state deems unworthy of treatment, whether for age, weight, or other factors.

The sad fact is that, with a national heathcare system, there is no private system to fall back on, at least not to the average person that makes less than $1M a year. So if the public systems refuses to treat, you may as well resign your self to an early death, or even worse WISHING for an early death so as to escape the pain you have to endure.

Guess WHO will be the first ones complaining about the "unfairness"? Those that promoted such a system in the first place, of course!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:41 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 192 words, total size 1 kb.